Dear Family and Friends,
As our family has increased and with each additional pregnancy, many have expressed concerns and fears and some have expressed harsh criticism of our family size. Because we love and respect you we need to address those concerns as well as defend ourselves to our critics. Our desire is to speak the truth in love and hopefully lay to rest all misgivings. This is an abbreviated version of what we believe and if there is anyone who would like to discuss this further, we will be happy to do so.
We believe that children are a gift from God.
Psalms 127: “Unless the Lord builds the house, it’s builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise up early and in vain you stay up late toiling for food to eat for He grants sleep to those He loves. Sons are a heritage from the Lord, Children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies at the gate.”
We further believe that our children are proof of our being blessed by God.
Psalms 128: 1-4 “Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways. You will eat the fruit of our labor; blessing and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine in your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is a man blessed who fears the Lord.”
We have been told that God has gifted us with brains, modern medicine, and freedom of choice and that we should use them. We agree wholeheartedly, however, we disagree with the application and context in which this is said.
When we became Christians we made a choice to submit our lives, including our wills to the will of God. As Paul tells us, rarely are our wills and thoughts in line with those of God.
Romans 7:19 “For what I do is not the good I want to do, no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing.”
2 Corinthians 10:5 “…. and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to the will of Christ.”
God has a perfect plan for each of our lives. His desire is for us to submit completely to His will; however, because He also loves us with a perfect love, He allows us to make choices that do not coincide with His plan. We believe that God’s first desire for our lives is for Him to be in complete control of our family planning including when and how many children and the timing of their birth. God reserved for Himself alone the rights to birth and death. People have, from the beginning with Cain and Abel, wrestled this right from God’s hands. We acknowledge that it is not only possible, but from a worldly perspective, more desirable to take control of this aspect of our lives. God opened and closed the wombs of nations at His discretion. We believe that He would prefer that we allow Him the same prerogative.
Examples: Genesis 20: 17-18; Genesis 21:1-2; Genesis 25:21;
Genesis 29:31; Exodus 23:25-26; 1 Sam 1:5-6, 20-11, 19-20; Ps 113:9; Luke 1:5-7, 11-13.
While we believe that our children are God’s blessing to us, we also believe that not every family is blessed this way. There are many families that God has chosen to either close the womb before any children were borne, or before the parents were ready. We believe that in those cases God has other blessings in store. Ultimately the choice and action were God’s.
We are daily grateful to God for allowing us to have the use of medicine, to be citizens of a country where medical research and development is the most advanced in the world and where the access to medical help is widely open. We believe that God created us in a very specific way with very specialized biological functions. He has given us medicine, doctors, technology, and knowledge to help us when those functions are not working properly. There is, however, and old saying, “If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it!” God never gave us permission to interfere with His perfect creation and try to improve on what God himself considered complete.
We have been told that many children in one family is a great financial burden and it is unfair to the other children within the family to have a large family. We believe that his is very untrue. We have already established that children are a gift from God. Why would He bless us with something that was too great a burden for us to handle?
Also, we have been told that having too many children causes others to be neglected and not get enough attention. We believe on the contrary, there is always a listening ear, open arms to offer hugs, and plenty of playmates. Everyone’s needs get met by the family as a whole, and no one is forced to wait long when there is an older sibling more than willing to help out.
How many children are too many? At what point does God’s blessing become too much and not welcome anymore? We should not base acceptance of God’s blessing on whether we can supply but rather on whether God can. God has promised to provide for us and His provision is always the best.
Matthew 6:25-34 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
As Christians we need to remember that our priorities are not the world’s. We are called to a different standard than the world has set. The standard of provision as set by our society, and our circle of friends, is distorted in the view of what the Bible says is necessary. God promised that He would provide for our needs, our daily bread, but not necessarily our wants. We do not believe that the “things” that our society says are needs are the same as what God considers our needs. In fact we believe that they are very different. Does a child really need most of the things that the world says we “should” be providing for them? Or to go further, does God really want a generation of children that believe that desires are the same as needs? Being able to give gifts to our children is a good thing and used wisely is a gift from God to us as parents.
We believe that God wants us to be fruitful and multiply filling the earth with His children. This command is mentioned more than once and to more than one person throughout God’s Word. He wants godly offspring for His kingdom. Since God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and His word is the Living Word, doesn’t that mean that His command to Be Fruitful and Multiply would still apply today?
Malachi 2:15 “Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.”
Genesis 1:28 “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.”
Genesis 9:1 “Then God blessed Noah and his sons, saying to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth.’”
Genesis 35:11 “And god said to him, ‘I am God Almighty; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you, and kings will come from your body.’”
These are just a few examples. Nowhere in our study have we found were God recedes this decree for fear of financial burden, over population, or stain on the wife’s body. Instead we see example after example of His blessing the obedience, faithfulness, and increase of His people.
Proverbs 14:28 “A large population is a king’s glory, but without subjects a prince is ruined.”
The family, as seen throughout the Bible, is very important to God. Although not everyone is blessed with a large family, everyone is called to submit their lives to Him. Even if we were wrong in our interpretation, we know that God will not discipline us for willingly submitting this aspect of our lives to Him. We recognize that in our society today this is a very sensitive issue. How you plan your family is between you and God and we sit in judgment of no one in this area. We do ask for the same respect from others, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ. We also would ask that you rejoice with us at the addition of every child that God sees fit to add to our family.
Love,
Mitch and Katrina
